The FAA

I seem to spend most of my time these days thinking about food. I heard a while back about a group called Food Addicts Anonymous; and I have to confess, I think they are really on to something there. Their charter reads:

"This twelve step fellowship views food addiction as a biochemical disease".

Food was always a central part of my life, I used it to control stress and to facilitate social situations, and whilst fulfilling those needs, it somewhere along the line became an addition. Regardless of social surrounding or stress levels, the same constant high level of consumption was required. Sound familiar? I could have easily been talking about alcohol or non prescription drugs.

When I decide to do something, that something is done 100%, without fail. Some people refer to this as an "all or nothing" personality type. It has its advantages, in as much as the all can facilitate greatness in whatever the person decides to do, but it can also facilitate unexpected results and dangerous obsessional behavior.

For me, loosing a huge amount of body weight over the past couple of years has been a pretty gratifying road. I'll admit that this might sound a little strange, so let me qualify that; its given me focus in that I've been able to enjoy measurable results. I've also had a constant stream of positive feedback to thrive on. Now I guess comes the hard part; I've reached ideal weight and just can't stop.

Even though I'm working out 2-4 times weekly, I'm still not gaining weight, which as far as my trainer is concerned (and most knowledgeable people I've talked to) is less than ideal. I've slowly been slipping more and more into the danger zone. My last body fat count reached somewhere near 12%, when I should be looking for 15% at my age and workout ratio.

So where have I gone wrong? I guess not adjusting my intake has been one of the major problems. I run on about 30-40% of my RDI for fat and until I recently started eating fish again (I had previously been completely vegetarian for two years) my protein levels had also been way below the RDIs, especially for someone on a regular workout schedule.

Why then am I unable to let this obsession go? Why even though I've reached my goal (indeed over and above my goal), do I still feel the need to harbor this compulsion? I guess it has to be food addiction, or some form thereof.

Its very different for someone addicted to drugs or alcohol I do believe, simply in the way that the offending substance can over time, be eliminated completely. One can become free from drink for x years and over time (although I appreciate that this can literally be years), that need is reduced substantially, perhaps on occasion eliminated completely.

This is different for food addicts, because hey have to eat. There is simply no getting away from it; its a little like an alcoholic having to consume half a beer a day for the rest of his life but no more.

Regardless, I spend all of my time thinking about food, and I guess the above contributes to this. I very rarely feel full, and even when I do, I am already considering the next meal... in fact even as I'm eating, I'm planning the next meal.

The bottom line is this; even though I've now reached what many would consider to be normal weight, I spend vast amounts of my time planning my meals, making up for over eating by working out, or feeling guilty about eating. I want to know when its going to stop. When am I going to be able to stop thinking about food and start concentrating on some of life's other consuming areas of thought... like world peace.

I appreciate that this post is a little random, but I sometimes feel a need to communicate this all-consuming condition outward. Thank goodness for blogs!